Today, I want to invite each one of us to open our hearts to a truth that is very important to the Christian life: Relationship. In a world so “connected,” we realise that, more and more, people live without true relationships. I’m not referring to “likes” or the large number of contacts on social media and mobile phones, but rather to genuine and deep connections.
We live in a generation marked by:
- Plenty of technology at our fingertips.
- An enormous flow of information.
But, at the same time, we perceive a great need:
- A desperate search for love that fills emptiness.
- The need for friendships that last and sustain.
- The desire to be valued and seen for who we truly are.
- The longing for sincere attention, which calms the soul.
1- The Church is the Home of Relationships
From the very beginning, since the foundation of the Church, God showed us a model of life. It wasn’t a majestic building or a complex system of rituals, but rather a people united by the Holy Spirit, who lived in deep fellowship.
Remember what the Word tells us about the early Church in Acts 2:
“They devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer.” (Acts 2:42, NIV)
“Every day they continued to meet together in the temple courts. They broke bread in their homes and ate together with glad and sincere hearts, praising God and enjoying the favour of all the people.” (Acts 2:46-47a, NIV)
Do you see? The church was not just an event; it was a spiritual family. It wasn’t just a service, but a lifestyle where people would meet from house to house, with open hearts and full of gratitude.
Christianity is, in its essence, relationship. If we wish to grow in God, we need to learn to relate to all kinds of people, and for this, it is fundamental to understand them and be able to put ourselves in their place. Currently, it seems that deep relationships are a rarity. Often, everything is resolved by a WhatsApp audio message, an email, and the matter is closed in less than two minutes.
2- The “One Another” Principle: The DNA of the Christian Community
Jesus, our Master, gave us direction on how we should live in community. He said: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” (John 13:34, NIV)
The expression “one another” resonates throughout the New Testament, describing the pattern of Christian life in community. It’s not a suggestion; it’s a command, a way of life! We are called to:
- Love one another – not just with words, but with actions.
- Forgive one another – let go and find healing.
- Serve one another – put others’ needs before our own.
- Comfort one another – wipe away tears and give hope.
- Admonish one another – in love, point to the truth of Christ.
- Build up one another – build up each other, not tear them down.
- Bear with one another – with patience and grace, recognise and work with each other’s imperfections.
Christian love is not just a fleeting feeling; it’s an intentional and supernatural attitude that manifests in our daily lives. The church is not a building where we gather; church is the people, a family that chooses to love, forgive, serve, and live in unity with – values that are the very essence of Christian life. It is practical relationship, lived genuinely, that keeps a church truly healthy. For example: asking for forgiveness, confronting with gentleness, comforting the afflicted, sharing the burden, and treating each other with patience.
3- The Silent Danger of Isolation
The Bible, in its wisdom, clearly warns us about the dangers of isolation. Christian life was not designed by the Lord to be lived alone. See what the book of Proverbs says: “Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire; he rages against all sound judgment.” (Proverbs 18:1, NIV)
Isolation is a subtle poison that weakens us spiritually, emotionally, and physically. It makes us easy targets for the enemy’s lies and deprives us of the strength that comes from unity.
Christianity is not a solitary journey with God. It is, indeed, an intimate and personal relationship with the Father, but one that flourishes and deepens in fellowship with brethren.
A Sunday celebration service, however inspiring, is not enough for us to develop genuine relationships. In the service, we come to worship and learn from God’s Word; in Life Groups, however, is where we relate and put into practice what we learn.
Our Life Groups are the beating heart of our fellowship, the place where faith becomes practical and where these truths become tangible. The service inspires and teaches us, yes; but the Life Group shapes us, moulds us, gives us space to be genuine and grow together.
Isolation, on the contrary, is a way of nurturing selfish interests and self-will, without being accountable to anyone. It rejects common sense and correction, preventing the exchange of knowledge and leading us to act foolishly.
4- Jesus Yes, Church Too: God’s Strategy
Nowadays, many say: ” I like Jesus yes, but the church is not important!” It is a phrase that may seem to make sense to some, but it disregards God’s own will and plan. God’s Word is clear:
“Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” (Hebrews 10:25, NIV)
No one, absolutely no one, can grow and mature in Christ fully and healthily in isolation. God, in His infinite wisdom and love, established the church as the Body of Christ on Earth. And He uses:
- Pastors and leaders to guide and nourish us.
- Brothers and sisters to support, challenge, and love us.
Beloved, online services are a blessing in times of need, but they can never replace the richness and depth of real, face-to-face fellowship. It is in personal interaction that we can share a hug, a tear, a smile, and each other’s presence.
If you wish to grow in the Kingdom of God, you need a pastor, a leader who not only blesses you, but corrects you, to whom you are accountable, and who points out when you are on the wrong path!
“Online” pastors allow you to choose only what pleases you, but the “physical” pastor, the true pastor, is the one from the church where you congregate.
When your marriage is in trouble, when you are discouraged, when the pressure is great, when you are sick – it will not be “your online pastor” whom you will call!
It is the pastor of your local church who has celebrated your wedding, anointed you for ministry, who will send you out as a missionary, and it is he, too, who will one day conduct your funeral.
Some people consider themselves so spiritual that they believe they can only be pastored directly by Jesus!
However, it is in the church, and through our leaders, that we experience the fullness of what God has for us.
5- Relationships: The Crucible of Our Transformation
Let’s be honest: relating is not easy. We have all been hurt. We have all been disappointed. Our scars, at times, make us want to build walls instead of bridges. But it is precisely in these relationships – in interactions, in disagreements – that God matures us and transforms us into the image of Christ.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17, NIV)
God uses relationships to teach us, shape us, and lead us to grow spiritually. It is in fellowship with our leaders, in church ministries, and especially in fellowship within a Life Group, that we are forged and learn the deepest lessons of faith:
- To forgive, even when it hurts.
- To have patience with the shortcomings of others and our own.
- To love, a love that goes beyond feelings, that is sacrificial.
- To serve, with humility and joy.
Jesus, our greatest example, taught us this truth on the cross. Amidst the greatest injustice and pain, He cried out:
“Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV)
We do not learn to forgive alone, in a book, or in an isolated room. We learn to forgive by living with people, being hurt, and learning to extend the grace we once received. But how will you learn to forgive in practice? Paul instructs us:
“No doubt there have to be differences among you to show which of you have God’s approval.” (1 Corinthians 11:19, NIV)
It is necessary for there to be differences for you to become an approved servant!
God will use these people with whom you have difficulty relating to deal with you, to deal with your pride until you learn to forgive, to humble you and teach you to serve in love.
Jesus said: “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” (Luke 23:34, NIV)
Jesus’ last instructions and warnings to His disciples were clear and profound:
“If you forgive anyone’s sins, their sins are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” (John 20:23, NIV)
Forgiveness is not a feeling, but a decision. Reconciliation and the restoration of damaged relationships begin when someone, out of humility, takes the first step. The restoration of relationships does not happen in a theoretical or isolated environment.
There are profound truths that cannot be learned simply by reading the Bible, praying, fasting, or attending church. There are lessons that are IMPOSSIBLE to absorb without the warmth and friction of relationships. Mature people face and resolve interpersonal challenges; hurt or wounded people tend to flee, perpetuating the cycle of broken relationships.
6- The Three Essential Levels of Relationship in Christian Life
For our Christian life to be complete and balanced, we need to cultivate relationships in three dimensions:
A1. Upwards – Our Relationship with God
This is the basis, the foundation of everything. Our relationship with God is the source of life, wisdom, and strength. Jesus, the Son of God, gave us the perfect example. He prayed, sought the Father, depended entirely on Him. Without a deep devotional life, without time with God, without this vertical connection, everything else crumbles. It is the sap that feeds the tree of our faith.
A2. Upwards – Our Connection with Spiritual Authorities
The second “Upwards” dimension concerns our connection with the spiritual authorities over our lives. These are those who guide us, to whom we are accountable, and who have the freedom to admonish us when necessary. Biblical examples abound: Paul and Timothy, Barnabas and Paul, Elijah and Elisha, Moses and Joshua.
It is crucial to understand that the role of leaders is not to control your life or your decisions, but rather to bless and guard you. There is immense beauty and security in walking under spiritual authority, a structure that God gave us for our protection and growth.
- Sideways – Our Connection with Brethren
We need companions on the journey, brothers and sisters who walk with us. People who:
- Pray with us, carrying our burdens.
- Weep with us, sharing our pain.
- Fight with us, celebrating our victories.
No one was called to travel alone on this journey of faith. We need one another: a friendly shoulder, a word of encouragement, correction in love.
- Downwards – Caring for Someone and Discipling
This is the call to responsibility and multiplication that we value so much at Shalom Ireland. Every Christian is called to care for someone, to invest in a life:
- Disciple someone, sharing what you have already received.
- Accompany someone on their journey.
- Help to grow, empowering others to serve Christ.
Whoever does not care for anyone, whoever does not invest in another life, ends up not fully maturing.
Genuine growth and the training of leaders and pastors (which is our focus!) happens when we take the responsibility for reaching out and drawing someone closer to Jesus.
It is vital to understand that ALL OF US HAVE BEEN CALLED BY GOD TO EXERCISE SOME LEVEL OF LEADERSHIP.
This is an integral part of our spiritual growth, for there is no way to mature fully in God without investing in the lives of other people. Do you want to truly grow in God? Decide to care for someone. Decide to disciple a new convert. Decide to lead a Life Group. Offer your home to host a Life Group.
Conclusion: A Choice of Life and Faith
Everything we do as Shalom Church – whether in our services, in our Life Groups, in fellowship events, or in every coffee conversation – all points to the building and strengthening of genuine relationships. Everything points to us being the spiritual family God dreamed of.
Today, God calls us to a clear decision:
- Not to live alone, but to actively seek the fellowship of the Body of Christ.
- Not to live in isolation, but to engage in Life Groups, where life happens.
- Not to live disconnected, but to invest in a deep connection with God and with our brethren.
Beloved, alone we are fragile, vulnerable. But together, in Christ, we are strong! Together, we can grow, mature, and fulfil God’s purpose. Together, we can transform lives, impact Monaghan, and plant new churches throughout Ireland!
This is the full life that God dreamed for each one of us. May the Holy Spirit inspire and empower us to live this truth every day!